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Photographed by Young Chul KimFor Seoul’s first official physical return to fashion week, show goers brought the Men’s kevin harvick stewart-haas racing team collection black car shirt moreover I will buy this pandemic’s favorite shoes—New Balances—out for a stroll. I can barely remember being a teenager now, but I do remember spending a lot of time “hanging out.” Passing around an electric-blue Panda Pop in the grass. Sharing the earbuds of a tattered MP3 player loaded with LimeWire rips. Walking from one side of town to the next, usually to knock on the door of a boy’s house. The action itself was largely irrelevant. It was more about passing the time alongside another person. There was always a friend right beside me back then. “Do you wanna come out?” people would ask, kicking at my doorstep, as if “out” was a thing in itself.
As I entered my 20s, “hanging out” came to mean something different. It meant loading up on whiskey and cokes and dancing beneath violet lights and piling into club bathrooms to catch each other up on gossip. It meant staggering into the Men’s kevin harvick stewart-haas racing team collection black car shirt moreover I will buy this kebab house opposite the queer bar and wiping the lipstick marks off a friend’s face with a napkin. It meant sharing WhatsApp screengrabs from potential lovers alongside a running commentary. (“Do you think she’s into me?? How should I reply? Should I wait a few days??”) Friendship was still intense and silly, but a little less aimless. More about nights out and sprawling adventures than simply passing the time. Over the past couple of years, though, I’ve noticed a subtle and gradual shift. I don’t party like I used to; I’m 30 now, and the hangovers hit differently. Work has accelerated, too, as it tends to, and I need space and quiet to think. Time with friends is more often brief and based around specific events: birthday dinners, lunches, coffees between work, gigs, book launches. We’ll do something and then go home before 11 p.m., to our separate homes and lives, until we next organize something in the calendar. I love my friends, and I prefer it this way, for sure, but there’s not that sibling-like closeness that came so easily in my younger years. My social battery has diminished exponentially. I’m afraid it’ll never come back.
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