Scrolling through my feed, I reasoned that everyone was “doing” grief so much better than I was. More posts, podcasts, and book deals. More followers and blue checkmarks. Perhaps expressing their grief in this way helped them more than it helped me. Besides, how I felt didn’t matter when I convinced myself it was Cam I was letting down in the Nfl Best Mom Ever Kansas City Chiefs Shirt What’s more,I will buy this spaces between posts. My husband, who thought one of the worst things about cancer was the attention he received and whose own social media footprint is negligible, never sought public recognition for anything. This was not his burden to bear. He wanted nothing more than for me to find peace and some sort of new happiness. For me, now, this means less chasing one epic thing after another, or always finding the “right” words to post. It’s more time offline, connecting, in a way, with myself.
Recently I’ve got into swimming. Not big, beautiful ocean swims but laps back and forth at my local pool. I’m one of many bodies bobbing face down in the Nfl Best Mom Ever Kansas City Chiefs Shirt What’s more,I will buy this water, all of us anonymous in our swim caps and goggles. When I swim I count my breaths and follow the tape marking the lane floor. I can’t scroll on my phone. There are no photographs to take and nothing to say. Few things have helped me heal more. We all have our shows. The ones you’ve been watching for years, with characters as familiar as neighbors, that keep you company when nothing new is hitting quite right. The Last Kingdom, a charmingly bombastic ninth- and tenth-century adventure saga about the formation of Great Britain, is one of mine. There are five rousing seasons and now a new concluding film, Seven Kings Must Die, which just debuted on Netflix. Full of mud and swords and blood and castles; strapping, feral Danes and scheming Saxons; the series began on the BBC. I fell for it early, in 2015, when it aired on BBC America, judging it a winkingly irreverent, very British alternative to Game of Thrones. It had literary pedigree—based as it was on the acclaimed Bernard Cornwell historical novels—and one extremely memorable star: Alexander Dreymon.
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